Judi Dentures rounds up more showbiz joy and pain
It’s another bank holiday weekend, the barbecue’s burning, the prosecco’s gone suspiciously warm in the sun, and somewhere deep inside ITV headquarters an executive is staring at a spreadsheet marked “CAST REDUCTIONS” while muttering “we can lose three more villagers before viewers notice.”
Yes, the soaps are in absolute carnage mode this week, reality TV is facing another uncomfortable reckoning, Stephen Fry wants to whisper historical facts directly into your ears while you walk around Westminster, and The Rolling Stones have somehow turned “going to Jamaica in the 70s” into premium rum branding. Frankly, it’s been exhausting.
So pop your sunglasses on, hide from your relatives for ten blessed minutes, and let Judi Dentures guide you through another glorious avalanche of showbiz joy, confusion and corporate panic.
Emmerdale’s Dingle Shock Axe
In scenes more dramatic than one of Cain Dingle’s annual punch-ups, Emmerdale bosses have done the previously unthinkable and axed a member of the sacred Dingle orbit.
Actor Bradley Johnson, who has played Vinny Dingle for seven years, is heading for the village exit as ITV continues brutal cost-cutting measures across its soaps.
And fans are genuinely stunned because the Dingles are usually treated like the royal family of Yorkshire. You can wipe out entire farms, pubs and marriages in that village, but the Dingles normally survive like cockroaches after a nuclear event.
The cuts have already claimed Nick Miles and Olivia Bromley, with insiders admitting fewer episodes now means fewer cast members are needed.
Honestly, soap casts had become enormous. Half the time in Corrie you see somebody appear in the Rovers and genuinely can’t remember whether they’re a mechanic, murderer, nephew or just a confused extra holding a hotpot.
Corrie’s Secret Social Media War
Meanwhile over at Coronation Street, the cast reportedly staged a behind-the-scenes revolt over social media earnings.
For years, actors allegedly needed ITV approval before taking paid partnerships online — and apparently most requests were rejected. But after episode cuts hit salaries, stars are said to have pushed back hard.
The issue? Corrie actors are paid per episode, and with fewer episodes being produced annually, pay packets suddenly started looking far less glamorous than viewers probably imagine.
Reports claim some stars feared salaries dropping into territory that’s less “national television institution” and more “assistant manager at DFS.”
Now several cast members — including Samia Longchambon, Sair Khan and Lucy Fallon — are cashing in on brand deals and sponsored posts.
And honestly? Soap stars doing side hustles is practically British television tradition. In the old days they opened supermarkets and signed photos in shopping centres. Now they advertise air fryers on Instagram. Same energy, different century.
Michelin Arrives in South Australia
Now then, culture. Put your Stella down for a second.
The Michelin Guide has officially announced its arrival in South Australia, with the first guide launching in 2026 for the 2027 edition.
Inspectors praised the region’s multicultural food scene, local produce and relaxed but refined dining culture, while highlighting its world-famous wine regions and fiercely independent chefs.
Translation: somewhere in Adelaide right now, a chef is screaming into a tea towel because they suddenly have to start arranging beetroot artistically.
Still, it’s a huge moment for Australian dining, and Michelin clearly sees South Australia as the next serious global food destination rather than merely “the place with excellent Shiraz and very confident brunches.”
Stephen Fry Wants To Narrate Your Walk
If your bank holiday Monday plans involve wandering around London pretending you’re cultured, then Stephen Fry and Dan Snow are now available to chatter in your ears courtesy of the VoiceMap app.
Fry has recorded two London walking tours with the QI Elves, while Dan Snow guides listeners through events including the Great Fire of London.
The app automatically plays commentary as you walk, which frankly sounds ideal for people who enjoy history but also enjoy avoiding actual human tour groups.
And you know what? Stephen Fry narrating Westminster somehow feels correct. Like David Attenborough explaining otters. Some voices simply belong to Britain now.
Jimmy King Faces the Slaughterhouse
Back to Emmerdale, because the budget cuts apparently aren’t finished sharpening the axe.
Long-serving star Nick Miles is reportedly leaving after more than twenty years as Jimmy King — and insiders claim the character may actually be killed off.
Worse still, the dramatic exit is expected to involve the returning Patsy Kensit as Sadie King.
Soap deaths used to be rare occasions. Now they happen so often villagers should frankly stop attending weddings, driving cars, standing near cliffs or entering barns during thunderstorms. Personally, it is a shame Emmerdale is doing the cutting, it is the better of the two ITV sagas currently.
The Rolling Stones Launch Premium Rum
Because apparently absolutely everything can become alcohol branding now, The Rolling Stones are launching a premium rum called Crossfire Hurricane.
The drink leans heavily into the band’s long relationship with Jamaica, where they spent time recording during the 1970s. The branding ties together Jamaican culture, rock mythology and Keith Richards surviving long enough to become a premium lifestyle product.
The campaign’s central argument is actually quite clever: that real creativity comes from unexpected cultural collisions rather than algorithms and recommendation feeds.
Though obviously the funniest part is imagining Mick Jagger hearing the phrase “premium rum lifestyle ecosystem” in 1972 and immediately falling off a stool laughing.
Reality TV Faces Another Reckoning
A more serious story now.
Labour MP Alex Davies-Jones has called for further scrutiny of reality television following allegations surrounding Married at First Sight UK raised in a BBC Panorama investigation.
Speaking on LBC with Andrew Marr, she described the allegations as “truly shocking” and suggested the DCMS select committee could potentially open an inquiry.
Her comments also linked the issue to wider conversations around misogyny, safeguarding and how reality TV contestants are treated behind the scenes.
It’s a conversation television keeps returning to after scandals involving programmes like The Jeremy Kyle Show and The X Factor. The tension between “great telly” and participant welfare clearly hasn’t gone away.
Book of the Week: Ready to Listen?
This week’s literary corner goes to Leslie Lee Sanders and her memoir/self-help hybrid, Ready to Listen?: A Spiritual Self-Help Memoir.
The book explores intuition, synchronicity, burnout, spirituality and reclaiming personal identity after years of feeling silenced.
Sanders describes it as a rejection of “glossy manifestation culture” in favour of a more honest account of struggle, trauma and self-trust.
And honestly, the self-help market does increasingly seem divided between “wake at 4am and become a billionaire” and “perhaps you simply need a lie down and boundaries.” This sounds much more rooted in the second camp.
The Assembly Gives Us More Unseen Chaos
Good news for fans of awkwardly brilliant television: The Assembly is getting an extra unseen episode.
The series — which sees celebrities interviewed by autistic, neurodivergent and learning disabled interviewers — has become one of the freshest things on television because the guests can’t rely on polished media training nonsense.
Additional unseen footage will feature Stephen Fry, Nicola Sturgeon, Sir Lenny Henry, Anna Maxwell Martin, Aitch and Rylan.
Turns out viewers quite enjoy interviews where somebody might suddenly ask the exact question every PR handler was desperately hoping nobody would mention.
Who knew.
BAFTA’s Young Game Designers Are Ridiculously Talented
Finally, a genuinely uplifting story.
BAFTA has unveiled the finalists for this year’s Young Game Designers competition, showcasing astonishingly creative developers aged between 10 and 18.
Some of the concepts sound more emotionally sophisticated than half the games released by billion-pound studios. One finalist created a game about depression and coping mechanisms, another imagined a world where forgotten memories are ranked and erased.
Meanwhile most adults are still shouting at strangers on FIFA.
The initiative continues to highlight just how creatively rich the British games industry remains — and how many young people now see gaming not just as entertainment, but as storytelling, art and social connection.
Also slightly humbling to discover teenagers are building existential sci-fi narratives while the rest of us still haven’t finished reorganising the kitchen drawer full of old batteries.
Final Thought
So, there we are: soap stars are fleeing for Instagram sponsorships, Michelin inspectors are roaming Adelaide with notebooks, Stephen Fry is now effectively a luxury sat-nav, and The Rolling Stones have entered their “artisan rum for wealthy dads” era.
Meanwhile television continues wrestling with serious questions about welfare and exploitation, proving once again that beneath all the sequins and nonsense, showbiz still reflects the wider world — just with better lighting and more fake tan.
Right then. Go enjoy the rest of your bank holiday. Avoid family arguments about politics, don’t overcook the burgers, and if an ITV executive approaches you carrying a clipboard, run.
The views expressed are those of the author and not ATV Today.
